Real life story:
We attended all the marriage counselling classes and listened to all those who had been married ahead of us had to say. This home of ours was definitely going to work no doubt, I concluded in my mind several times. Olakunle met the requirements of all I needed in a man.
The counsellors did try their best but a few weeks in marriage revealed a wide gap between their counsels and the reality of marriage. I realised we disagreed about almost everything. It seemed friendship took a long walk from our home.
Our first child came and he readily became our best friend. My attention completely shifted to him. Hubby too became our son's best friend. We thought we loved our son but clinging to him further widened the gap between us.
The very few times we tried evaluating our differences, we ended up worse because neither of us was calm enough to hear the other out. I made a resolve not to speak to anyone about what my home had become but one day, I felt I had had enough and decided to speak to a friend I trusted enough. She was a childhood friend and a very close one to my hubby too.
"Ah ah! Look at you, what is wrong with you? How can you allow a man turn you into a shadow of yourself? Why didn't you tell me about this all the while? You don't remain too calm for a man o, you need to starve him of the things he loves most." She said over lunch that day.
"What! You can't be serious ore" I said.
"Look at you! Just starve him of food and sex for a week, he'll come begging and that will reset his brain and make him love you more" she said throwing her hands up.
"Noooooooo I can't do that joor, I wasn't brought up that way. What if he doesn't miss my food and sex after a few days? What if he feels no remorse still? What if I am even the problem? I asked helplessly.
"Just try, there's no harm in trying. It's just for a few days. If you observe he's drifting off still, you stop the deprivation and apologize" she said as she made to take her leave.
Hmmmmmmmmm, that counsel I took to is the reason my dear Olakunle eventually left me for a mistress. Just like I presumed, he took his mind off my food and body after the first day he returned from work to an empty dining table and a stiff looking wife in bed. By the third day of my stupidity, Olakunle had become a night crawler. I as the hunter became the hunted. All efforts to apologize and restore our love fell on deaf ears.
I eventually resigned to fate the day I caught him in bed with my dear friend and counsellor. She had simply counseled me out of my home. I earned myself the title of a 'single mother' because I failed to realise that in the multitude of counsels, there is wisdom.
Who is counselling you about your home, business, finance, raising your children and how you live generally. It's one thing to listen, it's another thing to SIEVE what you hear.
By Adedolapo Wright Ebadan
#Fiction
#DollyP
#Thethirdeyedgirl
Comments
Post a Comment